Saturday, January 28, 2012

I Will Follow

So, it is now almost 1am here in Chaing Mai and I'm wide awake in bed when I really need to be asleep. Tomorrow I am going to be watching/coaching from the sidelines my kids that I have been teaching at their very first horse show. They are super excited and so am I. However, I am getting picked up at 6:45am.

But there is way way way too much on my mind right now to sleep. Earlier today, I found out that I compound fractured my T12. With that comes the restrictions of no mopeds, no horses, no lifting, little bending, no floor sitting and about a million and a half other things I 'can't' do for the next 3 months. I also have a wonderfully annoying brace that will also be with me that long. When I first heard I thought the choices of what to do would be hard. But surprisingly, I feel like God has given me such an incredible peace about one option; going home.

Now while I am in fact at peace about that choice and that it is the one God wants me to make, it doesn't make my heart at any less of a slight turmoil. Part of me is so so sad to be leaving here. There were a lot of dreams and goals I had for the next couple months. A lot of lives I was hoping to be able to impact. I also am so beyond sad at the friendships I will be leaving here. That will be the hardest part. Not sure how I'm gonna live without my Bethany haha or anyone else here either! Part of me is also so excited! I am so excited to be home and see my family and friends and just to be back in America. I feel like my life has in a way been on 'hold' while I've been here. I am also super excited about what thing it is God is bringing me to there that He needed me away from here so badly! I think that is where I am feeling the most peace.

Last year, when I messed up my shoulder, I looked at it as the end of what God had been doing in me. I saw it as a complete reversal of everything He'd been doing. Now with my new injury, that is also totally throwing a curveball in what God has been doing in my life, I am just thrilled with it. I KNOW God has a plan. I don't doubt for half a second God has had me here for a reason. I don't doubt that I was supposed to stay here. I'm not sure why, but that really doesn't matter. I trust Him. Maybe it was for how much I have grown in the past couple months. Maybe it was for someone here. Maybe it was just to keep me out of something at home. But I know that He had me here. And now I'm just so excited to see what new and incredible things He has planned for me back in good ole Kansas.

PS The title is from Chris Tomlin's Song "I Will Follow" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ohvhmGSfxI&ob=av2n

1 comment:

  1. The right perspective always keeps life-changing events in check. You are an amazing woman!

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