Graduation and Grace

I cannot believe that today is already December 13; tomorrow we graduate from DTS. I feel like it has been such an incredible whirlwind. The past week has been great. Our team has spent a lot of time together, just getting to hang out as a ‘family’. We’ve watched Christmas movies, made cookies and coco, had a fake fire, made lots of good food, listened to Christmas music, but most importantly just enjoyed the extreme love and sense of belonging that surrounds our team now. I have come to adore every single team member as if they were my own family, and I could seriously not be more thankful for them.  I will be so very sad through this week as our family slowly goes their separate ways.

                As this time comes to a close, I have been spending a lot of time looking back and reflecting over the past several months. I feel like I have changed and grown in so so many ways. Looking back at some of my first posts, it seems so far away and almost like another person. I have learned so much about who God is, who I am in Christ, and what He has planned for my life. I have learned how to rely on His strength alone to get me through, and that it’s not about me being a ‘good Christian’. I’ve learned just how incredible and strong God is and how He always has a perfect plan in everything, even when we don’t see it. I’ve learned to be desperate for Him and passionate about sharing Him. I could go on and on for pages as to what I have learned. I have seen so many incredible things and I have also learned so much about who I am as a person and individual.

                Earlier this week I realized something though as I looked back over all my previous posts, all the things I had learned and grown in. I was expecting myself to just be ‘good to go’ now. I mean, taking the time to think about it, it doesn’t make sense at all. But in my head, I had unconsciously felt like, “ok, I’ve dealt with all of this stuff now, I’m not going to have to deal with it again.” I also was giving myself absolutely no room to make mistakes in my walk as a Christ follower ever again. But the truth is, that’s sooo not reality! It doesn’t matter that I’ve been in this amazing school for the past 5 months. That doesn’t make me perfect. I am still very very much human. I am still going to mess up many times. I am sure I will hurt people, hurt God and hurt myself before my life is over. But that’s the great thing isn’t it? I mean, it means I so often get to be reminded of God’s incredible grace. I know I’m going to mess up, and while I HATE the idea of it, I also don’t need to dwell on my mistakes. I need to realize they are going to happen, be willing to acknowledge when I have made a mistake, be ready to apologize and ask for God’s forgiveness and turn from my wrong actions and realign my life with His will, but most importantly, keep my focus on Him and bringing Him glory with my life the whole time. Jesus Christ is so amazing.

                I pray that as you prepare for this Christmas you remember Christ and not only His birth, but also His life and the reason of His birth. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas filled with lots of love!! Look forward to seeing some of you in 6 months!

On The Road Again...

Hello long lost friends! Sorry it has been forever since I have updated this blog. I hope all is well in your part of the world!! As I write this it is almost 8pm at night and I have spent the day on a bus heading back towards Thailand via Cambodia. We are about 1 hour outside of Siem Reap where we will spend the night. I have spent the past month in Vietnam. I walked into this not knowing exactly what I was getting into. Actually, I had NO idea, at all.

Vietnam is a very communist nation. Which meant everything we did there was illegal. No one could know why we were really there, what we were doing, or anything like that. It would put not only our team at risk, but the teams we were working with there. Communication of events was highly limited. Anything that might have  God mentioned was only done behind closed doors where we knew all the people there, or when we had one on one time with people we had taken the time to build relationships with and thought we could trust. Communist flags where everywhere seemingly reminding us of the restraint we had to use in all conversations and relationships. All internet conversations, emails, chats and even skype was monitored. We could mention nothing; especially not names, times and places. We’ve been asked to still keep much of it to ourselves or only face to face conversations to help protect the missionaries who are there long term.

We worked with a place that allowed us to build relationships with people through teaching English conversation and by doing events with this place. We would take the group of students(most people we hung out with were college age) and go to different local orphanages, special needs homes, and elderly homes. These experiences stretched the whole team to a new level and showed us so so much. One event we all had a blast at was playing ultimate Frisbee with them. We all had a blast. One time, my team decided we were the “Chickens” and we ran around doing the chicken dance(they had fun learning it) and we ended up doing really good. It was so much fun!

We lived in the heart of Saigon/Ho Chi Minh City on the 3^rd floor of a guest house. Everything in Vietnam is straight up and very narrow. I think I have walked more stairs this past month than I have in my life! There were mopeds EVERYWHERE! It was truly insane. Crossing the road was like the old video game, Frogger. By the end we were pretty great at crossing, but I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to having a moped speed by me, only inches away.  There was also an abundance of sunglasses. (yes, you can laugh) But seriously, there were so so many people walking around trying to sell sunglasses! It was kind of funny. It was really different for me to live in a city like that. Building were packed like sardines and you just have to walk downstairs and down the street just a little bit to get to whatever it was you wanted. There was an abundance of incredible fresh fruit sellers and sugar cane juice. It was so tasty! But the city noises at night and the constant commotion made me miss the sound of crickets and frogs with the occasional mooing of a cow of home and the stars! Coming into Cambodia I am seeing stars again for the first time in a month!

The people in Vietnam are so open and friendly to foreigners. I went running every morning at this park 1k from our house and it was rare that a morning went by that I didn’t have some sort of conversation with people there. I even played badminton with an old guy one day. I was terrible. They also just loved to pick us up on their mopeds and show us the city and take us to their favorite fruit smoothie or noodle place. One of them is going to a beauty school and she cut my hair along with all the rest of the girls on our team. Many crazy and fun memories from our time there. Goodbyes where hard.

We are getting really close to Siem Reap now. Tomorrow we will spend all day traveling to get back up to Chiang Mai Thailand. We will have 10 days of finishing up our DTS and then we graduate. I can’t believe how fast it has all gone by. It seems like just yesterday I awkwardly arrived in Thailand wondering what I had gotten into. I am starting to try to mentally prepare for Christmas as it will be my first one away from home, and also prepare for the coming 6 months that I will spend in Chiang Mai. I still have what seems like so much to do to make that all go smooth. One of the biggest being raising support. The more I pray about it, I feel like I’m supposed to try and raise $400 a month to continue living in Thailand and be able to spend more time on what matters at the farm. I also have to move into my new house and figure out my schedule for the next 6 months and make it through Christmas!!! (I have to admit, I have been listening to a crazy amount of Christmas music and just can’t wait for it to come) I pray that your Christmas season is focused on Christ and His wonderful incredible all sustaining love.

As always, feel free to email me @ cowgirl4christ17@yahoo.com or find me on skype or facebook at Caity Midyett. Also, if you are interested in possibly helping support me over the next 6 months, just shoot me an email! Thank you all so much! 

Finally! The Video of Eating Bugs!

Ok guys, so... here is the video of me and Bethany eating bugs! Sorry it took so long but just now got to a place where internet would handle loading a video! Enjoy our misery! http://youtu.be/EDPJZIEJwDo

The Orphanage

Well, I'm experiencing my first time being sick while over here. Can't say it's super fun, but thankfully I was able to just chill out today and hoping to be fine tomorrow! Anyways! I had to write about last night.

Last night our team went to an orphanage started by Buddy and Stop Slavery several years ago. It is lead by Pastor Paul and his wife and his mom. There are 10 kids there, plus Pastor Paul's 2 kids. Pastor Paul picked us up around 4:30 and we headed over to the orphanage in their Tuk Tuk. The ride over was pretty fun, as Tuk Tuk's are awesome, and the team all in one just makes for an amusing trip. As we pulled into the alley where the orphanage is, it was lined with kids waiting for us and waving like crazy. Apparently they were greatly anticipating out night. I wasn't so sure about it to be honest, as I already wasn't feeling well at all and was worried I would be pretty lame as far as energy and being able to pour into the kids. However, I put on a smile and said a prayer and we all climbed out of the Tuk Tuk. As soon as we got there, Pastor Paul went and grabbed some fresh coconut(no, not like what you picture a coconut like in America, SUPER fresh). He had kept them in ice and cut a hole in the top of them and stuck a straw in. We all talked with the kids as we drank our coconut milk. Then we headed over to this field by the house. It was mid calf high in grass, and there was quite a bit of mud and water and a little stream and a cow. We set up sticks, kicked off our shoes and started a game of soccer. It was guys against girls plus guys with blue and pink shirts. The game got intense really quickly as everyone was really good and super aggressive about winning. Mud was going everywhere and bodies kept tumbling to the ground. We all ran our hearts out and the girls won!!!! (should be no surprise there though!) The kids hung onto us and we all walked back towards the house. We took a short detour to a water pump to try and get some of the mud off of us before heading to dinner. Pastor Paul's mom had prepared a wonderful meal. I'm not really sure what it was, but it was rice with meat and vegetables. After dinner, the kids got up and preformed several praise and worship songs they had been practicing and had dance moves for and everything. We attempted to join in and looked so silly doing it! Then our team did a skit we have. It's called the Bean Skit. It's a super simple skit, but you go back and do it over and over in different styles. Eventually, we gave the kids our roles and they did the skit too. It was so funny! Then Buddy shared the story of King Hezekiah in from the Bible as all the kids gathered around and listened. The night was interrupted by the pet pig getting out, but it was soon caught and all was well. We ended the night with sad goodbyes, and lots of pictures. They were some of the happiest kids I've met before even in the face of so much. Truly incredible!

Please keep the orphanage and the kids there and Pastor Paul and his family in your prayers!

WOW!!!

WOW! What a past week this has been. It has been so busy and incredible and just an overall incredible experience.

We started off the week on Sunday going to a church service at the Centre where we teach. It is mostly high school age kids with some college age teachers also. Our very own Justin lead the service in worship, and then showing his versatility turned around and also did the teaching. He is truly a very gifted teacher. People where captivated by his lesson. At the end of the service, we celebrated the birthday(well…it wasn’t quiet his birthday yet, but almost) of one of the older students there. It was the first time in his life that he had a birthday cake. They had an awesome game at the end of the celebration that I will now be making a tradition at any of my future parties. People challenge each other to rock paper scissors and the loser gets icing smeared on them by the winner every round. It was so much fun! That night we had an insane dance party at the house we are staying at for the staff and a few of the students. All I can say is I made a 100% complete idiot of myself. But! I had fun while doing it. I really cannot dance at all. They however, where absolutely incredible. I have no idea how they can control every single part of their body so fluidly. All in all, it was just a super fun night.

Throughout the week, we continued to teach. Ange and I teach our class from 11:30-12:30 and then from 4-5, 5-6, and 6-7. The classes are getting bigger and we are really starting to build relationships with the students. They are in general just such a silly fun group. We have a blast in our class for sure. Our morning class mostly has just monks in it. We are really building strong relationships with them. I never ever would have guessed monks would be so hilarious and just so much fun, but they really are. They are probably some of the biggest teasers, practical jokesters and most competitive of all our students. They have also taught us so much about the culture and history and traditions of Cambodia.

Through this week I’ve also been working a lot on the self discipline thing. I even got to give a ‘teaching’ about it on Wednesday. I have been able to just be really consitant with my time with God and just feel a lot closer to Him already and it’s just neat. Also, being more self disciplined on the health side of it has me feeling really good also. The self discipline of communication has me writing back people much more quickly. It also has had me making better priorities and getting what I need to get done in a lot more time efficient and productive manor(for example, writing this instead of watching a movie with some of the team).

The past 48 hours though have been absolutely insane and so much fun! Yesterday morning we taught class as normal but then came back to the school at 3pm to set up for the evening festivities. The school was hosting a talent show. It was so much fun and we all had such an incredible time watching the students perform. They all had a fun time getting to show their skills in singing, playing guitar, and dancing. The dance class did a dance together and I just kind of stood in awe of how good they were. Justin’s guitar class also did a group act. They were so nervous, but got up there and made it through the song anyways! I got to help run the sound and then was in charge of helping find students and getting them ready to perform and getting everyone numbers as well as other misc errands. At the end, the DJs starting some crazy music and the team along with the teachers and older students had another dance party. I even learned one of their dances (very poorly I might add). Overall it went really well and everyone walked away smiling. It ended around 7:30 and we ran home to go eat and get back to the school for a prayer night. We hung out there and worshiped with them till about midnight and then headed home for a few hours of sleep. We all got up around 4:30am and headed out to Angkor Wat to watch the sun rise over the main temple. It was so so incredible. We spent the day exploring many of the different temples. I really cannot explain the sheer majesty and glory of the places, even being so broken down. And something really interesting, on one of the walls, there was an engraving of something that looks like a triceratops. At one of the places, we were one of the first people there and it was just so peaceful and yet powerful. I got the chance to read Psalms 148 out lout there, and it was just so cool. Even though it was a temple built for Buddha, the sheer glory of it pointed straight to God and His ultimate majesty.

A couple prayer requests. The first is tomorrow I am teaching at church. I’ll be sharing basically my testimony and how I got to Cambodia. Please pray that the Holy Spirit just really speaks through my weaknesses in talking and gets His message across. Please also pray for our last week here in Cambodia. Pray we can really touch the lives of the students in an unforgettable way and just really point them to Christ. Pray for our safety on our trip this next weekend to Vietnam. And for the preparation of the hearts of the people we will talk to there. Also, please pray for my time I’ll be in Thailand. Just that everything would happen that needs to happen during that time and that I just use that time as God would have me in the most effective way to glorify Him in all I do. I also am going to try to raise about $400 a month as support for living in Thailand. As I am not coming back to the states, I’m not sure how I’m going to do that. Doing everything through the farm I’m working at, I should be able to take on enough extra lessons and trainings there to make the money to live. However, the more I pray about it, the more I’d really like to be able to spend that time building up the therapy program there as well as getting to minister and mentor all the young girls that come there. Thank you all so much for your continued love and prayers!! 

Desperation

Desperation…complete desperation.  That is what our need for God should be. There are days where I’m just hit by just how utterly badly we DAILY need to be filled with God. I question how I can even survive a single day not having a strong fellowship with Him. I can’t imagine it on a day like today. We NEED God. God isn’t a convenience. He isn’t something we do to make ourselves feel better about ourselves. Or something we ‘do’ to gain something. He isn’t some magic genie. He is the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. We desperately and direly need Him. We can do absolutely NOTHING without Him. He is our life. He is what gives us life and sustains it. He is the only way we know what is right and what is wrong. He is truly our daily living water. Not having any sucks the life out of you. There is no alternative. We are desperate to be filled by our living God. The provider of life. 

A Soldier

Ok, so I have been in Siem Reap, Cambodia for a whole week. It's crazy. It feels like it has been forever living here, and at the same time it seems like just yesterday we got here. Weird. I really love the laid back culture here. We bike everywhere here. I probably spend around an hour a day on a bike during the week. Our normal schedule is teaching at the Center from 11:30-12:30, and then teaching again from 4-7pm. Ange and I are teaching English Pronunciation. And I have an announcement. After years of thinking I would HATE teaching(but never really experiencing it) I have decided that it is actually something I enjoy A LOT. I have so much fun getting the lessons together with Ange and getting to help people learn new things and just be able to encourage them along and see the progress. It's really cool! One of the most interesting classes Ange and I had consisted of 4 monks from the monastery down the road. They seemed much more interested in flirting than learning the lessons. It was SOOOO funny! Ange and I had to work hard to keep a straight face. They were a ton of fun. They were constantly competing with each other and trying to out do each other and be louder and it was just so funny. One of them even pulled a chair out from the other as they were sitting down, setting the other monk on the floor very hard. All of our students call us 'teacher' and I don't know why, but I just think its adorable with their Khmer accents.  We are staying at the YWAM base here, called The University of the Nations. It's pretty cool. We are making a lot of friends that will be difficult to say goodbye too. Tonight we are even having a party with them. Food, music(i was put in charge of being dj...i'm worried they will dislike the bit of country music i had to throw in ;) ) games and even dancing(or what we call dancing... i don't know if the rest of the world would consider it that haha).

Cambodia itself is such an entirely different experience than Thailand. I have to admit, I was expecting them to be very similar, but they really aren't. This country is so poor. It's really sad. But at the same time, I'm realizing just how much isn't really a "need" as much as a want. You can live a life just fine without a microwave, a/c, hot water, flushing toilets, cars, dryers and indoor stores everywhere.  It's been a really awesome chance to see it all. This week I have also been studying the history of Cambodia. It is a gut wrenching and little known history. Basically a whole generation was completely whipped out by the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot. Basically a Communist regime who took out all thinkers, and educated people and in the process killed off . Around 4 million people died during their reign. Many from mass murders and just starvation as their food was sold to pay for weapons for the military. The country was completely ravaged by war. The hardest thing to deal with about all of this? It was from 1970-1979. So pretty much anyone here over 30 has been personally impacted by this. Thousands and thousands starved to death or saw loved ones taken away and murdered or rapped or turned into soldiers. I would highly suggest reading the book "First They Killed My Father" if you have no already. It is a first hand account of one girls survival through that time period. I had no idea about any of this before coming to South East Asia, and maybe I'm just ignorant. But I think it is something that should be more known about.

One thing that God has really been working on me with these past couple weeks is discipline. I am TERRIBLE at it. I've been realizing it more and more. Just in everything. I am bad at it in writing people back, thank you notes, calling the people I need too, friendships, exercising, the food I eat, but most importantly in my quiet times with God. I'm good at keeping it up regularly for a couple weeks, but then something throws it off and I get bad at it again for another couple weeks and then I'll start doing it again. Same with everything else. I can do it for a while, but then something happens and it just messes me up. But, I think that is really really bad. These are things that are really good for me. Especially my quiet time! I daily need to be filled with God and I need to DAILY lay my life down before God. It's not just a one time and I'm good for the next bit. The thing that kills me the most is knowing that I do know what is good for me, but not being disciplined enough to do it. I think its a required thing in Christianity to be disciplined. Like a soldier preparing for battle. It's daily. There is constant training, or refreshing. Everyday intel needs to be updated. Always keeping their body ready. God calls us to follow Him and be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks about our hope and faith. But if we're being undisciplined, we're just setting ourselves up for being out of touch with our Commander and Chief. Not knowing His will, His strategies, His words. So...this isn't something I've overcome yet. This is still very much a struggle. And it's something I will continue to work on. But I want to start being more and more disciplined in everything that I do. I don't want to be the lazy soldier. I want to bring glory to God with every little part of who I am and what I do. So, I ask for your prayers as I start really working on this in all aspects of my life.

Also I ask for your prayers as this week I've been super homesick and it's starting to hit me just how long I am going to be away from home as I'm still figuring out the details for the rest of my trip. I have been missing family, friends and just being home. I love it here. A LOT. And I really do feel like it's where God has me and wants me to be, but some days, it is really hard. Love you all a ton!

Cambodia!!

Well first thing is first.  The Challenge was completed and I ate more bugs than I ever want to again. It was soooooooooooooooo gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I mean, I wanted to get sick for the next day or two just thinking about it. I am going to try and get the video loaded of it. However, it is now a bit more difficult because…..

I AM IN CAMBODIA! Friday night we left Chiang Mai with many sad goodbyes. We got on a bus and headed down for a 12 hour bus ride to Bangkok. The bus was pretty awesome.  We all slept most of the time on it. Saturday morning we arrived in Bangkok, and after searching around to find someone who could speak both Thai and English we got a van that would take us as far as the border between Thailand and Cambodia. At this point the team is Bethany, Akari, Justin, Clark, and Ange as our leader. The border crossing was quite different. You could feel the entire atmosphere was totally different. Thankfully some guy lead us to where we could really get visas as opposed to the numerous stands around that would just swindle your money.  We made it across with the help of our next van driver.  We are all travelling with just a backpack for the next 7 weeks(along with a varying bag of snacks).

We are staying at a University of the Nations(affiliated with YWAM) house in Siem Reap. It is terribly terribly flooded here. We ride everywhere on bikes and it will sometimes get as high as 1ft in the middle of the road. The sides of the roads are far worse. However, life seems to continue on as normal, people just moving things around to make adjustments.  The rice fields are really flooded badly though, ruining much of the crops. We were warned at church this morning though to keep an eye out. With the flooding have come CROCODILES! Yeah… not a church announcement I intend to forget anytime soon. Talk about practical applications. Tomorrow we start working at a school helping teach life skills including English, Math and Music.  We will be here for the next 3 weeks. We will be teaching life skills at the Center here. I will be teaching English Pronunciation with Ange at 5-6 different classes a day. While here, we have very limited access to the internet, so I apologize for not replying to any messages in timely manners. Living in Cambodia has made us realize how spoiled we were in Chiang Mai in many ways including here there is no hot water, a/c or flushing toilets. It is a really good experience. J

Please keep our team in your prayers as we continue to grow closer and just that we can really reach the people here in a practical way and be able to show them God’s love for them. Also please keep in your prayers the friends we left behind in Chiang Mai. We built many relationships there. Bethany and I especially got to know this lady who made Rotee for us. She was awesome, and even though we didn’t speak the same language, we built a unique friendship. We hope to see her again and maybe figure out how to communicate better once we get back to Chiang Mai. Also please pray for my roommate Bethany as she has officially decided to stay next spring also. She has lots of logistics to figure out as well as just the pain of not being home for the holidays etc. Please continue to pray as I also work everything out for my extended trip this spring. Lots of love to everyone!!!!!! <3 

Why

You know what the epitome of feeling useless is? Not knowing the eternal destination of a dead loved one. The hopelessness. The despair. 

You start asking God, "Why God? Why him? Why didn't you appear to him or something? Why didn't you bring someone in their life to show them You?! I know there where people in His life that knew You. So WHY?! Why didn't they speak up?! Were they afraid? Afraid of what he might have thought of them? Were they just lazy? 'Oh, I'll talk to him when I get the chance away from my busy schedule to take him out for coffee.' Were they looking for the 'perfect opportunity'? So many people loved him! I know some of them had to know You God. When they saw the destruction he was bringing on himself, why didn't they passionately pursue him?! They knew where he was heading; to a place of eternal torment; to a place of wailing and gnashing of teeth, to a place of suffering. Why didn't they run after him, beg him, plead with him or try to show him You?! What went wrong? Or did they just not care? Not care about him? or worse, did they not truly care and completely believe and grasp and care about you?" 

Once you hit that point in the questions, silence falls over your thoughts as the implications start to hit. As I live everyday, how many of other-people's-loved-ones do I interact with that don't personally know my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. How many people have I told passionately of the love, grace, and forgiveness I have received?  Of my completely new life? Of my transformation? How many hard conversations have I avoided on pretext of not wanting to offend them? How many times have I waited till tomorrow because I wasn't 'up for it today?' How many times have I patiently waited for the perfect opportunity to come up while letting any opportunity I had come and go? Do I really believe that what I believe is really real? (Truth Project)

Once again, silence falls. This time however at fear and disgust at the answer. No. How can the answer be yes?! If I really truly believed with every ounce of my soul, how could I even think for half a second of anything short of serving my beloved Savior and bringing Him glory in all I do? How could I daily interact with people, even close friends and just roll off the fact they don't know my Lord? how could I look them in the eye and say nothing, knowingly signing their death sentence? I couldn't. So why can I? 

Take Me By The Hand

25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29“Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14: 24-32

You know, Peter was one of God's chosen disciples. He had been with Jesus through so so much. He had seen first hand Jesus do miracles beyond his imagination. He believed that Jesus was truly the Son of God. The Messiah. He was totally sold out for Christ. Obviously Peter trusted Jesus incredibly, I mean, he got out of the boat! He even asked for Jesus to ask him to come. When Jesus did call him out, he went. Peter wanted to be extreme for God. Because of that, he got the chance to walk on water. Unfortunately, the storm surrounding him started to freak him out a bit.  He felt himself begin to sink. Can you imagine that feeling? Doing something incredible for God. Then looking around and realizing what it is your doing, and how crazy it is in the human mind. Standing on water and seeing waves and wind. Then the feeling of the water starting to reach the top of your feet, then higher and higher up your legs. He was afraid. "Lord, save me!" he begged. "Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. "You of little faith...why did you doubt?" Jesus saved Him. But can you imagine the feeling of reproach at being called someone of little faith? Ouch!

      Our first thoughts, "What the heck Peter! You were walking on water! You'd seen what God had done first hand, yet you doubted like that?!" But, I can't distance myself from Peter. I've seen the wonders of the Lord first hand in so many different ways. He has worked so many things out for me. Yet there are many times I take my eyes off of Him and start focusing on the waves. I know what HE has told me. I know where I am at with Him, but then I start seeing the waves of the world, and start doubting what I know He has spoken.

     This is something I've been struggling with in a couple different areas lately. One as we're getting ready to leave for outreach, and I haven't yet finished raising my money for this trip. Also, as I am making the plans to stay here once I get back, it just seems crazy at times. I'll be living in a foreign land with so little planning and really not knowing a whole lot, as a missionary, outside of the structure that my DTS has offered.  These just two examples of many in my life. 

Please pray for me.  That I keep my focus on God and listening to His voice instead of looking at the waves of life. 

THE CHALLENGE!!!!!!

Ok everyone, here’s the challenge; I still need to raise $800 for my trip to Thailand. So, I’m presenting a challenge. If I raise the full amount by October 8^th, my roommate Bethany and I will eat(and video tape) 5 COCKROACHES AND 5 GRASSHOPPERS EACH! It’s a delicacy here I haven’t yet tried ;) Any little amount will help reach the final goal. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PASS THIS AROUND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE!!!!  you can shoot me an email @ cowgirl4christ17@yahoo.com or find me on Facebook as Caity Midyett or just use the paypal button the side of this page 

cockroaches!

grasshoppers!!

The Scene

Living out of the back of a horse trailer. Traveling around the country with my two(at least) faithful horses. Hanging out till the early hours of the morning with the other traveling cowboys/cowgirls just having a good time. Big beautiful truck. Winning the National Finals Rodeo and getting to point back to God.

That was part of my biggest dream growing up. I wanted to join the Fellowship of Christian Cowboys and live the life of Rodeo. It seemed like so many things would work for it too. I had always been given horses, even an old barrel racer. I had lots of friends who rodeo-ed. But every time I started to try and compete, things happened. Whether it was schedules, trucks, trailers or horses, something always went wrong. I was able to compete a little bit when I was 14 but that was it. I had always viewed this as just challenges to overcome. Things that would make the victory that much sweeter.

The other night though, my view of this was shaken a bit. I was talking with one of my friends here, and they were saying how they wanted to be able to do what they loved, without getting big or famous, because they were concerned about getting 'caught up in that scene'. At first I was kind of confused, and thought they were a bit crazy. I knew how focused their heart was on wanting to serve God. But as we continued talking about it, I realized that the same held true for me. If I was to get big into rodeo, I would loose focus from God. Granted, my heart would start out right, I would want to bring honor and praise to God. But also, pride is one of my biggest weaknesses. I would get caught up in all that "I" was doing. It wouldn't be about God anymore. I'd start living on my strength, for my glory.

I had also always seen going big in rodeo as the biggest validation of my skills with horses. But as I thought about it and prayed about it more, it really hit me. Why is it my ability with horses needs to be validated by anyone else? The answer: it doesn't. The only reason it would need to be validated would be for my praise and self security. But in reality, what does it matter? What does it matter if there are many many people much more skilled with horses than me(which there is). What does it matter if I don't train for anyone but local horse people? What does it matter if with my therapy place I can only reach 100 people? It doesn't. I realized, that the only thing that matters is I am using what God has given me to the best of my ability in the circumstances He has placed me in. That is why I have those skills.

Please continue to pray for me as we prepare for outreach phase, and then I come back to Chiang Mai till May. We now plan to spend 3 weeks working in Cambodia and 4 weeks in Vietnam. It will be an intense trip hopefully reaching many people. I also ask you to prayerfully consider supporting me, as I still need to raise more money to pay for this trip. Thank you all for your love and support!

Energizer Bunny

"Don't you ever want to just take a break or not do something?" That was a question I was asked by one of my housemates. I thought about it for a minute before realizing the answer was, "very, very rarely". I'm constantly going about a hundred miles an hour, and love it. I feel like I thrive off of the activity and the people. This trip has been really good for me to learn more about people and realize that everyone is so different in so many ways. Not just in personalities but in needs. I had always just kind of assumed that everyone's basic needs where the same. It's been a cool learning experience. Also learning about that has helped me realize a bit more of who I am and how I work and how I can best utilize every single day. 

In following the pattern of me not slowing down, and just keeping going(I just remembered that my nickname one summer was the Energizer Bunny. ha, now it makes sense!) I have decided that I will continue to stay in Thailand until either May or June of next year. I have a house already that I can live in. I will be running the horse stables I have been working at as well giving more advanced lessons to local riders, and training horses, and giving clinics to make an income to support myself living here. Not everything is in stone yet, as details are still being worked out. But I truly feel like this is where God is leading me to be and how I need to spend my next year. I will continue to be apart of the DTS and start working when we get back in December. I'm beyond excited! 

This morning after my run, i was just sitting on our porch and really praying when I realized something. Through the past couple weeks I have been really focusing on laying down my life to God completely. But, I hadn't given  Him all the pain. I wanted Him to help me through all the new stuff, and forgive me for my past, but I wanted to still hold onto all that pain I'd received. I didn't want to give Him all of that. So this morning, I just went through, and prayed for every single person or situation that I'd ever been hurt by and just gave it to God. Those hurts aren't something I want to be defined by.I don't want to look at something and be like, because of that person or pain or situation I am this way. I want to be defined by Christ alone. I want my identity in Him. And by holding onto all of that, I'm just giving those things power in my life, and I don't want that at all. I trust the fact that God works everything together for good. I also started to realize that my shoulder surgery is possibly on of the biggest blessings God has given me. He has used it for so so so so much. Our God truly is an awesome God. 

 

Royalty

Right now it is around 4:30 in the afternoon on Saturday in Chiang Mai Thailand. I still am sometimes just in complete shock that I am even here. I'm currently a sweaty mess. I just got back from a run. I love running. It gives me the chance to really just clear my head and focus completely on God. There is also nothing like the feeling of pushing yourself just a bit further than you thought you could.

This week has been an awesome week as normal. Every week we're getting more and more kids in the therapy and there has not been a time yet when I've made it through a session without wanting to cry. Also continuing to build the relationships with the kids I'm teaching riding too. It is so awesome to just get to be a testimony for Christ just by being around them. I get questions all the time of why I am here, or what I am doing or many other things and it's just so neat to be able to point them all back to God's sovereignty and love.

Wednesday night Clark and I had the opportunity to answer some questions of some Chinese foreign exchange students; Chocolate and Jennifer. They are attending a weekly "Bible Study". It is not however, what most Americans would consider a Bible study, rather it is more of an informative; this is what is taught in the Bible and what Christians believe. Both of the girls had many many questions and when they found out that we were here studying the Bible even more they asked us many questions. We got to share a lot with them and it was super neat. We get to meet with them again later this week, please keep them in your prayers.

Friday we practiced a "Sabbath". It was really a cool experience. We took the day off of all classes and work to really take a day to reflect on what we've been learning and to praise God for all He is doing. We headed up to this mountain to find a lookout. We ended up getting the truck stuck and hiking the rest of the way. We had a cool worship service at the top and then went and found a waterfall where we all broke off and just spent an hour alone with God just really thinking about the past week and couple months and what He is doing. Then we went home and chilled for a while. Bethany and my friend Pakkad came over and hung out, and then we all went to a worship night called Refresh. It was just an awesome night of sooo many different cultures praising God in their own way.

Today was a pretty relaxed day. Talked with my mom, went to lunch with Bethany, talked with Jenn for a while. Came home and went for a run. While I was running though, I was struck by the fact that I was still somewhat stuck on people. That while I wanted to serve God wholeheartedly and be abandoned for Him, I still wanted to be approved by people as I was doing it. I still wanted people to like me. I still wanted to be normal to an extent. Even just in little things. Like saying I don't care about something trivial as where we eat for dinner when I really do. Or not caring what movie we watch when I really hate that movie. I had gotten so lost in making sure I was serving others and keeping the peace, that I'd started to lose sight of my value in Christ. I unknowingly started to mentally put everyone above me. Now, please don't get me wrong. I still want to serve other people, ESPECIALLY the people I am living with. I truly love every single one of them as a family member and want to be a blessing to them. But I also need to consider myself a person of worth. I need to realize and remember that I am also God's beloved daughter. He made me how I am and He loves me so much, no matter what. It doesn't matter what I do. I have value just because of Him being my Father. I"m the daughter of royalty!! Such a wonderful cool thought. The more I think about it, the more I realize what a difficult time grasping that concept.

We continue to prepare for outreach. We will be spending 1 month in Cambodia and 1 month in Vietnam. I am super excited.

Also, the opportunity has come up that I stay here till May or June of next year. I have been offered a place to live, as well as the opportunity to continue working out at the horse stables and to get to train more people and horses around Thailand. I would be able to make a living off of the training I would be doing. The more I pray about this, the more I feel it is where God is leading me. As I seek His will on this, I also continue to pray about this trip. I have no doubt that God called me to come on this trip to Thailand. That has been made clear over and over. As such, I know He will provide all that I need. Before October 15, I need to raise at least $800 for this trip. I ask you to keep me in your prayers, that God makes it completely clear for me whether or not this is His will for me to stay longer and also that He would  provide the rest of the money I need to finish this trip.

Thank you all for your continued love and support. Feel free to email me anytime @ cowgirl4christ17@yahoo.com

Cultural Collision

Once again, what an incredibly crazy amazing awesome week. First, I have a super awesome roommate with the amazing Ms Bethany. She's awesome. Also, I have a super-occasional roommate, Akari. She's just pretty much incredible. Ange, also wonderful daily keeps our lives running smoothly.  In overview of the week, I started doing a lot more therapy at the farm. I'm LOVING that. It's so incredible. Every time I get to see the way the kids react to the horses I'm almost brought to tears. Just seeing them improve just over that short amount of time. Continuing riding lessons. Loving the chance to really build relationships with the kids I'm teaching as well as with their parents and siblings. I'm learning German a phrase a day, so hopefully will be much better at that by the end. Also working on learning Thai, but it's much more slow going. It's a tonal language and I am getting sooo confused. Maa is horse and dog, and several other things just depending on how you say it.

 Classes in the mornings continue to be incredible and I'm learning so so so much. This Friday morning, we went to a meeting about how to use business as a way to reach people. It was sooo cool to hear this man's story as he used his life as a what to do and what not to do. So many things none of us had ever thought of.

Thursday night was super cool as we got to go see our Canadian friend Kurtis get baptized. We hiked up this mountain to a waterfall. We had a lot of climbing and wading and almost slipping(ok so I fully slipped and slid on my butt down this rock, but it was really funny). It was just a neat experience to get such a glimpse of God's power in creation but also in Kurtis's life. We'll miss him a lot when he leaves on Tuesday :(

Saturday night we got a group of 18 college age people and went to the huge mall here. We did a photo scavenger hunt. For those who don't know what that is, you and your team(we mixed everyone up) are given a list of things you have to find and get a picture doing it. The group consisted of Germans, Americans, a Canadian, and a Thai. It was soooooo much fun and just so cool. Everyone had a blast just getting to relax and be silly with each other. After the hunt we came back to where we are staying and watched all of the teams pictures and eat some brownies and ice cream. We started to watch Megamind and then most people got tired and went home. 

this is team 1 getting a group of people to sing jingle bells with us for the hunt

Today though, was the coolest day of the week, by far. Our group was invited to go and lead worship and share our testimonies at the German church. I really wish there was a way to put into words the overwhelming feeling of being there.  We had 5-6 different countries represented there, yet everyone was just lost in complete worship to the same God. Such a wonderful thing to experience. Also, we have some super incredibly talented people who can lead worship on our team(go Justin and Ange and Kurtis!!) Also, we had Louise helping us. She generally plays piano at church and so we all got to practice together and then lead today. So cool how it just doesn't matter where you come from, when your lost in your identity in Christ. So many things we get stuck on; whether it be our past, our future, how we define ourselves etc., all just become irrelevant when we chose to first and foremost define ourselves as God's beloved children. 

Where to begin 555

So much seems to have happened this past week that. It's been insane and awesome and amazing.

     Thursday: Thursday is one of my days at the horses stables. I got there a bit early to work one of the young horses; April. When I was almost done with her, I noticed this little boy running around like crazy. I finished up with April and as I was putting her up, the kid and his parents came over and his parents started getting him to try to touch her. I just kind of held onto her and tried to show the boy that she wouldn't hurt him. Thankfully Freudhelm came over and explained to me what was going on. The boy had special needs and his parents really wanted to try horse therapy with him and Freudhelm wanted me to do it. I was super excited, so I ran over and got a horse I thought would be more suitable for it; Cookie. The boy, Freudhelm, the boy's mom and I all went into the arena. He really wanted nothing to do with getting near the horse, so I just gave him the end of the lead rope and showed him I was still holding onto it as well. Eventually I was able to let go of the rope and just let him lead Cookie around. Cookie just put her head down and followed him. A couple of times he dropped the rope and Cookie would walk closer so he'd have to walk back to her and grab it. After a while he hesitantly started touching Cookie. The more he started touching Cookie, the less he was clinging to his mom(he was probably around 7yrs old) Finally his mom was able to just go stand on the sidelines and he just followed me around leading Cookie. He started yelling something(he only spoke Thai) and Freudhelm told me he was saying he wanted to ride. So I asked him if he wanted to, and he let me grab him and put him up on Cookie(which he hadn't let happen at first). Freudhelm and I led him around for another 15 minutes or so, and he just always kept an arm wrapped around me. Freudhelm was super happy about that because of how easily he'd let go of his mom and just grabbed at me. By the time it was over he didn't want to get off the horse. Later I found out that the parents were sooo excited about it and had asked if they could tell a bunch of other people about it and said that normally the boy wouldn't get on a horse or do anything like that until after 3 days+ of getting used to the area and people. That was such an incredible experience.
        That evening I went with all of the German team to this meeting/dinner thing. It was so all the short termers met the long term missionaries. Freudhelm asked me to come because I am working so much with their farm. The food was good but I had to get up and tell everyone where I was from and what I was doing and stuff like that...the only person who spoke English.
       After the dinner, like 7 of the Germans came over to our house and we all went together to go see Cowboys & Aliens. It was a blast getting to hang out with that huge group walking around the Thai mall and going to see that movie.
       Friday: We ended our study on the parables with the parable of the prodigal son. It was pretty amazing. Also Jenn Rathmell made an amazing wonderful feast that I'm still full from. It was soooooo good!!!!!

       Saturday: Grabbed Kurtis and Monique(our friends from Canada) and headed up to the Sticky Waterfalls. We took a side track to this Snake Show. It was crazy!! There were all sorts of snakes, including a huge massive king cobra. They did a cool snake show, that included jumping snakes, thai cobras, rat snakes, and a python. I got to hold the rat snake and even had it on my head.

      We got kind of lost on our way to the Sticky Waterfalls, but finally made it. It had to be one of the coolest experiences in the world. We climbed down this path(like a foot wide) through the jungle, and jumped into the murky water. Then we tried to climb upstream and it didn't work so well so we climbed back to the path and just walked to the next level and jumped in the water again. Then the coolest thing, when limestone and water react, the limestone gets sticky. So we got to climb straight up this multi level waterfall. We climbed up it, down it, and up it again. It was sooo neat.

      We headed home and then Bethany and I headed back out to hang out with Monique. We caught a Song Tao and went to Saturday Night Walking Street. We got interviewed 2 different times for school projects. I was able to find some stuff for my family, and it was just an incredible experience. There was such a range of stuff there. We tried a bunch of different foods, and had a pineapple/strawberry smoothie that was pretty much incredible. We found a place that was playing Jazz, they were really amazing. We got home around 11:30 at night.
     Throughout the week: Learned about the parables through middle eastern eyes, some really amazing new perspectives and ideas. Still getting ready for outreach.

Also, I got invited/asked to come back to Thailand and run the horse stables while the missionaries are on furlough for 6 month-ish. Please pray for wisdom for me as I try and figure out what God's will is in this.

Oh, and for everyone still wondering what 555 means in the title,  5 in Thai is Ha so around here they use 555 as Americans would lol cool, huh?

Monk Chat?

So last Friday night I got to experience something that was just sooo cool! We went to what is called a "Monk Chat." It is right outside some of their temples and also their university. You get to go and just talk to them and ask questions and they ask questions and practice their English. It was such a neat experience and I learned soo much about their beliefs. Did you know that there is a difference in reincarnation and rebirth? Rebirth is more Japan style Buddhism and that means they believe that they remember their past life, while reincarnation is when they don't remember their past life but right before they die their last thought determines what they will come back as. Also, karma isn't about 'what comes around goes around' in THIS life, but the next life. Also they don't have to be a monk for life, they can do it for as short as 10 days once they turn 20. Before that if they want to get into it they are just called novices. One of our monks name was Camping. He was hilarious! (Who would have thought, a funny monk) But he was saying how he was getting out of being a monk in a year or so so that he could get married. He also likes KFC and the hardest part about being a monk for him is that they can't eat after 12noon. The experience was eye opening. It also what such a neat experience to see monks go from faceless people i disagree with to real people, even though I still disagree with them.

Saturday we had another member join our team, so I have a new roommate. We now have 6 people living in the house. It's soo cool just to get to live like this with everyone. In itself it's a huge learning experience.

Things are getting in full swing at Abentur Farms. I have anywhere from 6-12 kids I teach every time I go out there. Really starting to build relationships there. And, while I was wondering how it would turn out to be a real outreach opportunity, some of the girls have started coming to the German church to be able to hang out with me even though they have never been to church, so that is just really neat.

We are starting on Friday to prepare for our outreach period which starts in mid October. We still aren't sure where all we'll be going but we're look at going to Cambodia, Vietnam and maybe Laos working with different organizations. We will be preparing skits and music and testimonies and different 'messages' that we'll all be doing.  I am pretty excited about this. We'll be living 7 weeks out of  a backpack.

As we're getting ready for outreach I really need to raise the rest of my support for the trip. Please prayerfully consider supporting me on this mission. I also put a paypal donation button on the blog to make it easier. Thank you for everyone who has already supported me(I am working on getting thank you letters out if you haven't already gotten them!)

Where's the confidence?

So I am really starting to work A LOT over at Abentuer Farms( http://abenteuer-farm.com/index/ ). I am working on traning two of their horses, Frodo and April, teaching riding lessons and helping with therapy. It is an amazing farm that I am sooo privileged to be a part of. Not only are they using horses to get into people's lives, everyday they give lessons or therapy they also set up a booth and tables and chairs and have other activities going on so the whole family can be there and they just really focus on building that relationship with the community as an opportunity for outreach. I am loving working there and it's just incredible. However, they all speak German, so I am now working on learning German in addition to Thai. I'm getting incredibly confused!! I also got to go to German church with them, which was super cool. I am getting spoiled after all the wonderful German cake.

This week I also got to experience the market and learned how to barter and rode a Tuk Tuk all in one evening. It was a blast just getting to walk around it.

While teaching this week, I realized something interesting. These 2 girls I was teaching where riding 2 very capable horses. They are both around 100-120ish lbs while the horses were 1200lbs. These horses carried them with ease and could have done much more than what we were looking for in the lesson. However, every time I asked them to do something with their horses, they only half-heartedly asked. They were so so so timid about asking, like they were frightened how the horse would react to their request and weren't sure they could really accomplish it. Then, when the horse didn't respond to their timid request, they gave up. This was kind of frustrating to me. I encouraged the girls to keep at it and not quit and to boldly ask the horses for the response. As I was sitting there telling them all of this though I was struck by how often we treat God like they were treating those horses. We are so timid in our asking of God. We claim to know His might and power and especially His love of us, however we ask Him for things like we are scared He'll be mad at us for asking or just isn't big enough. We choose medium sized things to pray for. We deem the little things to inconsequential to Him to bother bugging Him and the big things to crazy to ask for. Yet we're His kids. Why do we treat Him as uncaring or aloof and weak? All of these thoughts ran through my head as I'm sitting there in the middle of a muddy arena on the back of a horse giving riding lessons in German. These thoughts haven't left my mind and with these constant thoughts a new choice to start treating God more like my loving all might dad and less like some harsh, weak, person.

While writing this blog I also had a visit from my friend Cami from the states. She brought us some peanut butter!! We had a blast hanging out and then going with the rest of the team to go help out at an English club. We played games with a bunch of Thai and Chinese kids at Won Gen Kafe'. Then, we loaded everyone up and went bowling. We played for 3+ hours and just had such a fun time getting to know the people. I even got a turkey!!  I also now have a Thai name, since my name is a bit difficult for them to pronounce. Its Lukwad(it means candy, and they didn't even know how much I love candy!!)  I also had the opportunity to share about Jesus with some of the girls when they asked if they could interview me for a school project. It turned out one of them was even a new Christian so that was really cool!

God is definitely working here in a huge way. I'm loving living here and just learning to grow close to God in a whole new way. Please continue to pray for my teams and my safety here as well as the opportunity to serve.

Horses, horses, horses....

Germans in Thailand. What? Horse therapy in Thailand. Really? Germans running a horse therapy place in Thailand that need help, especially from someone who rides/trains western? No way.

Yes way. It's just incredible to see how powerful God is and how He truly answers prayers and is alive and working today.

Today, I started what will be my main ministry for the first two months here in Thailand. It is a horse therapy/outreach for local lower Thai people, run by an amazing Christian German couple. They are just starting their programs again next week after a summer break. They had been praying for several things. 1. Someone who could teach in English. 2. Someone who has background training horses to work with their younger horses. 3. Someone who has background in western riding. 4. Someone who is willing to make relationships with the kids and really help them. 5. Someone who could be around till mid October at least. 6. Someone who preferably has some horse therapy knowledge. My prayers. 1. A ministry opportunity in Thailand that I could pour myself into while I was here and just have the opportunity to pour myself into people and love them. 2. Continued direction as to what God wanted me to do with my life, whether it be with horses or just missions or whatever it was He wanted.

God coordinated everything out so that we both were answers to each others prayers. God literally brought me out of a situation I needed out of and brought me directly into one where I can not only grow closer to Him and be encouraged to Him daily. But one that I can use everything He has given me with horses over the years to serve Him and bless other people. And what are the chances there are horses, especially being used for therapy, in Thailand? Right down the road from me, who need help? I feel like again God is showing me that horses is an area where He has always blessed me and that is really a tool He has given me to be able to reach out people. As Jenn said today, "Here you are working in Thailand, with Germans, and you're American. But it doesn't matter, you can reach them and minister to them anyways; because you speak horse."

It has given me so much excitement at the opportunities I will have while serving there. But also, it reminds me of my desire to be able to help soldiers with PTSD and their families through horses. And encourages me that it is the direction God has me heading.

Many Lessons

So, it's official. I'm a wuss about foods, I just can't do spice. I have eaten fried rice almost every day and probably will continue to eat it as long as I'm here. It's pretty awesome fried rice though, I will say :)

Last night a lot of our team went out to go see this cafe' called the Won Gen Cafe'. It's this really awesome cafe that is right out side of Chaing Mai University. It is designed to be a place to reach out to college students through music(open mic nights on fridays as well as some performances on saturdays) art(monthly art shows) and learning english(english club on mondays and wednesdays). The building itself is a super cool place that has just a relaxed environment. It's all about reaching these students with the truth through building personal relationships with them. As a team we are probably going to start spending time there helping in any way we can.

It's kind of funny here, for several days we were having trouble with the power; it kept going out. And even though we all had no problem with no power, it brought us all together. No matter when it was, we all seemed to head to the common area and spend time just laughing and talking together.

As we have continued to do the Gospel Transformation and the Is That You God?, it has continued to just be an amazing time to grow in my personal relationship with God. As I continue to grow closer to Him, the lack of certain direction and so much confusion about my exact future has faded into direction and trust. Trust that what I don't know isn't going to hurt me and God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. All the things that God really seems to be teaching me right now seems almost overwhelming. It's soo much change, so much I was failing at and so much I needed to be doing better. It's been wonderful though. Another thing that I have been catching myself on(and this really surprised me) that even as I was sitting here recognizing alllllll of my faults and sins and how broken I am before Christ, I was catching myself almost getting self righteous about it. It startled me when I realized it, because it made no sense. So, I have turned it into something that I just lay before God daily, to keep me completely humble and broken in Him. So that also He can work through my strength, and that I don't even ever begin to think I can do it on my own again. I   daily remind myself of the brokenness He brought me from, and His grace and love. One of the biggest areas I feel God has been working on me these past several days is that He ALWAYS follows through on His promises. He is forever faithful. No matter how much time, how difficult it seems, when you hear Him you can  trust Him, unconditionally. I mean, Abraham waited close to 40 years before he was given the son God promised him.

Please continue to pray for me as I attempt to grow closer to my Savior and trust in Him through it all. That I would be open and be ready to listen to Him and His plans for my life and for this trip.

This song is my daily prayer.

Hearing God's Voice

To start off with I was looking at all the stuff on the 'controller' end of the blog and noticed that of all my posts that I've put up, the least read is the one I started with(July 25th). And while a part of me likes that fact, I really think it is the one that needs to be read, especially to be able to understand where I am coming from and where I'm going and all that God has done in my life. 


So this week has been really neat. We've been going over a book called, 'Is That Really You God?' written by the founders of YWAM(youth with a mission). It's all about just really taking the time to not only daily pray and read the Bible for direction, but also to take the time to listen to Him when He speaks. We've also started going through the book, Gospel Transformation, and it's all about just letting the Gospel of Christ transform your life. That it isn't just about a man and a set of rules, but that it has the power to erase your sins and help you live daily and promise you a place in heaven forever. I'm looking forward to the rest of the book. It's been a very cool experience to get to just have soooo much time to really focus on God and pray and read the Bible here. I've decided to just lay every single one of my plans for my future on an altar before God and just really start from there with Him, looking for His direction in everything I'm doing. Another thing God is really working on in me is just trusting Him. I knew that Thailand and this school is where God wanted me, however in the short time between finding out and leaving I wasn't able to raise the full amount of support. So, it's just a continual battle to make myself just rely and trust on God that He will provide for when I follow through on His instructions. Ephesians 6:10 is the verse I'm really holding onto, Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. It's really just a great reminder to me that I don't even have to try to do anything on my own strength, because I can live out of God's and He has enough to get me through anything. 


This week our team has really started working to get the organization, STOP Slavery going. We have been having many brainstorming sessions and lots of prayer and research and now have a full 'to-do' list to fill our days. This is an organization against Human Slavery/Traficking. It is designed to be kind of a hub/base that offers information to eventually both individuals interested in learning more about what the current Human Slavery looks like, what is being done against it, and also for agencies involved in fighting it and caring for those people who have been saved. It is really neat and I'm really looking forward to the opportunity to get to work with this team and this organization. (i'll put up the website later as we are currently re-vamping it)


Another cool thing this week was we went and visited a place nearby that does horse therapy(using horses for people therapy). We went and talked with them for a bit, and asked if they needed another hand to help. They were pretty excited as they hadn't been able to do some of their activities because of lack of people so as one of my ministries while I am here I will be getting to go and work there with their outreach. They also give lessons to local missionaries kids, so I will be able to help in many different areas. 


I think that daily it becomes more and more apparent to me that God really has me in Thailand for a purpose and I'm just soo excited to continue to find out more and more what that is. 


P.S.   right after I got done with this post I went to start working on my homework for Gospel Transformation. I started praying before hand and was really trying to figure out what had been kind of i felt, blocking some of my communication and relationship with God. While praying God showed me. As much as I wanted to be used by God, I still wanted to be 'normal' in some ways. Not all ways, but some. I quickly realized that it couldn't work like that, if I am sitting here praying God would use me to do amazing things, I can't expect to still be able to hold onto my little corner or normalcy. So my new prayer is that God helps me to just turn over anything and everything that makes me normal and just be sold out for Him, and not have even the desire to be 'normal'.

some pictures so far :)

                                                              on the way to burma!!

                                                                 cool mountain shot :)

                                                        the song tao we ride around in!!

                                                                      burma street

                                                                         burma

                                                                 hat vendor in burma

                                                     akari and i with the border in the background

The first week

So here it is Monday morning, almost a week since I got here. It's so amazing. To do a catch up on the week:
Thursday was just kind of a down day. We had planned on going to Burma but then poor Megan broke her arm and had to get surgery on it Thursday morning. She is doing well and is in a cast running around like normal now.
Friday all 14 of us jumped in the back of the Song Tao and headed up to Burma. The Song Tao is a little truck that has a cover and bench seats in the back. It's pretty awesome. We drove through the mountains and all across northern Thailand and got to Burma. It took about 4 hours. When we got to Burma we parked on the Thailand side and walked through immigration across the border. It was really interesting how different it was than going through immigration in a more advanced country. We got over to Burma and were right away inundated with people crying out over each other and holding signs to try and get all people to notice their Tuk Tuk to get them where they need to go. Once we made it past them there was an onslaught of people selling cigarettes for cheap. We waded through them and eventually made it through them and down the stairs to the street market. It was really neat to walk around, but everywhere we went we saw desperation. Beggars where everywhere. Even the vendors faces where pinched in pain. Out guide(a man who spoke english and offered to help us around after we crossed the border) led us all around showing us where everything was. He also made sure we all stayed together. After an hour or so we headed back to Thailand, jumped in the Song Tao and headed home. The trip on the Song Tao was an awesome time to really grow closer to the other team members, but also just to have some time with God. I wish I could describe that time with Him better, but in the end I came out with a strong focus. My goal for the trip is to be 'desperate for God, and confident in Him.'
Saturday we started our training manual, Gospel Transformation and started working out what sort of missions we'd be doing while we are here.
Sunday we went to house church. It was pretty amazing. They way everyone worshiped was just so pure. There were people from sooo many different nationalities there and it was just neat. Afterwards, we went out to lunch with 2 younger couples and had a nice afternoon just talking with them. Later that afternoon, a couple of us went to the gym, I got my butt kicked by it and now have some other goals while I am here.
Now here it is on Monday morning, raining for the third day in a row. We are about to go head out to our Gospel Transformation and other training.
In other news, I am awful at spice but love some of the other food here. :D