A Soldier

Ok, so I have been in Siem Reap, Cambodia for a whole week. It's crazy. It feels like it has been forever living here, and at the same time it seems like just yesterday we got here. Weird. I really love the laid back culture here. We bike everywhere here. I probably spend around an hour a day on a bike during the week. Our normal schedule is teaching at the Center from 11:30-12:30, and then teaching again from 4-7pm. Ange and I are teaching English Pronunciation. And I have an announcement. After years of thinking I would HATE teaching(but never really experiencing it) I have decided that it is actually something I enjoy A LOT. I have so much fun getting the lessons together with Ange and getting to help people learn new things and just be able to encourage them along and see the progress. It's really cool! One of the most interesting classes Ange and I had consisted of 4 monks from the monastery down the road. They seemed much more interested in flirting than learning the lessons. It was SOOOO funny! Ange and I had to work hard to keep a straight face. They were a ton of fun. They were constantly competing with each other and trying to out do each other and be louder and it was just so funny. One of them even pulled a chair out from the other as they were sitting down, setting the other monk on the floor very hard. All of our students call us 'teacher' and I don't know why, but I just think its adorable with their Khmer accents.  We are staying at the YWAM base here, called The University of the Nations. It's pretty cool. We are making a lot of friends that will be difficult to say goodbye too. Tonight we are even having a party with them. Food, music(i was put in charge of being dj...i'm worried they will dislike the bit of country music i had to throw in ;) ) games and even dancing(or what we call dancing... i don't know if the rest of the world would consider it that haha).

Cambodia itself is such an entirely different experience than Thailand. I have to admit, I was expecting them to be very similar, but they really aren't. This country is so poor. It's really sad. But at the same time, I'm realizing just how much isn't really a "need" as much as a want. You can live a life just fine without a microwave, a/c, hot water, flushing toilets, cars, dryers and indoor stores everywhere.  It's been a really awesome chance to see it all. This week I have also been studying the history of Cambodia. It is a gut wrenching and little known history. Basically a whole generation was completely whipped out by the Khmer Rouge and Pol Pot. Basically a Communist regime who took out all thinkers, and educated people and in the process killed off . Around 4 million people died during their reign. Many from mass murders and just starvation as their food was sold to pay for weapons for the military. The country was completely ravaged by war. The hardest thing to deal with about all of this? It was from 1970-1979. So pretty much anyone here over 30 has been personally impacted by this. Thousands and thousands starved to death or saw loved ones taken away and murdered or rapped or turned into soldiers. I would highly suggest reading the book "First They Killed My Father" if you have no already. It is a first hand account of one girls survival through that time period. I had no idea about any of this before coming to South East Asia, and maybe I'm just ignorant. But I think it is something that should be more known about.

One thing that God has really been working on me with these past couple weeks is discipline. I am TERRIBLE at it. I've been realizing it more and more. Just in everything. I am bad at it in writing people back, thank you notes, calling the people I need too, friendships, exercising, the food I eat, but most importantly in my quiet times with God. I'm good at keeping it up regularly for a couple weeks, but then something throws it off and I get bad at it again for another couple weeks and then I'll start doing it again. Same with everything else. I can do it for a while, but then something happens and it just messes me up. But, I think that is really really bad. These are things that are really good for me. Especially my quiet time! I daily need to be filled with God and I need to DAILY lay my life down before God. It's not just a one time and I'm good for the next bit. The thing that kills me the most is knowing that I do know what is good for me, but not being disciplined enough to do it. I think its a required thing in Christianity to be disciplined. Like a soldier preparing for battle. It's daily. There is constant training, or refreshing. Everyday intel needs to be updated. Always keeping their body ready. God calls us to follow Him and be prepared to give an answer to anyone who asks about our hope and faith. But if we're being undisciplined, we're just setting ourselves up for being out of touch with our Commander and Chief. Not knowing His will, His strategies, His words. So...this isn't something I've overcome yet. This is still very much a struggle. And it's something I will continue to work on. But I want to start being more and more disciplined in everything that I do. I don't want to be the lazy soldier. I want to bring glory to God with every little part of who I am and what I do. So, I ask for your prayers as I start really working on this in all aspects of my life.

Also I ask for your prayers as this week I've been super homesick and it's starting to hit me just how long I am going to be away from home as I'm still figuring out the details for the rest of my trip. I have been missing family, friends and just being home. I love it here. A LOT. And I really do feel like it's where God has me and wants me to be, but some days, it is really hard. Love you all a ton!